Body Fluids

I don't know what got me thinking about this. Maybe because of the rather intense scene I had recently. Actually, I was thinking about how a friend of mine's play room is covered with rubberized mats like you can get for a child's play area or for gymnastics. They can be washed off easily and I know that's one reason he has those. Got me thinking about my own body fluids and times when they didn't stay inside my body.

In my now 20+ years experience as a bondage submissive and growing pain slut, I think I've lost control and expelled just about every body fluid except for... ear wax. If you can count that as a body fluid.

I thought about it. What are the fluids I have in my body and under what circumstances have I lost control of them and had them seep out?

Well, let's start with blood. I have a hard limit against anything that would cause injury that might do permanent harm, or cause permanent disfigurement (e.g. scars). No large hooks, blades, scarification. No large needles that would produce scars.

Even with that, things can sometimes get rather on the edge rather easily. A whipping can leave welts, which are perfectly OK. The welts can getting rather intense and sometimes result in oozing blood. So there's that.

And there's been numerous times when I have bled from my anus after an especially hard pounding by a guy with a large cock. Or a dildo.

And yes, while I have no love for it, I've experienced some needle play-- not something I seek out but something I haven't explicitly rejected and one or two of my more intense partners have decided to put me through it. (If the needles are small enough there is no scarring, so it meets my criteria, technically). Needle play typically results in small amounts of blood.

I've even bled from my gums after having the slightly rough edge of a ring or other metal gag dig in.

Yeah, these all represent rather painful events. It's hard to get to the point of bleeding without having experienced a fair amount of pain.

Tears. Not that uncommon. I cry easily outside of a bondage scene, it's just the way I am. So it makes sense that if I am in pain and tied so I can't relieve it and it is growing and I am struggling and the clamps are hurting and my shoulders aching and I have no idea when it is going to end... I cry. Tears are not uncommon.

OK, so...Snot. Yeah, this is a common one. It happens when you are crying or have gagged on something (any number of things to gag on, happens in most scenes), and your eyes water and your nose clogs and eventually you have snot joining the drool that is coming out of your mouth. Sometimes I have had to actually blow snot out of my nose in order to clear it a bit and breathe.

It's humiliating of course, hanging there or laying on your stomach with your ankles tied to your elbows and your nose is running from the tears and getting clogged and you have a gag in so what do you do? Suck a deep breath and blow out through your nose hard, trying to get some of the clogged snot out. If I am lucky, it goes down onto the ground. Not so lucky? It drools onto my lips, chin... whatever.

Drool, the most common body fluid. Most gags will make me drool like a baby. More than once I've looked down and seen my breasts and stomach covered shiny in wet drool. Sometimes snot has joined it. I am personally amazed at how much drool I produce in the course of an hour. Puddles of it.

It's awful, too, because there is a natural, physical tendency to want to swallow drool, or at least wipe it up. It's one of the humiliations of being tied and gagged-- you can't control your drool.

This is a weird one: Breast milk. So, I was pregnant briefly early in life. But I never reached the stage of lactation. So it was a bit of a shock when one day I was sitting in a wood chair with my arms tied over the back and my legs tied spread open, and Jason was wrapping rope around my breasts as tightly as he could to try and make them bulge in an embarrassing and somewhat painful manner, and a bit of milk came dribbling out.

Jason had great fun with it, tightening up the ropes and squeezing my boobs to see what he could get out, which was both painful and humiliating and disconcerting to me. I actually visited a doctor later and it turns out there are some medications that can cause lactation (though only in small quantities). I happened to be on two of them.

That was a one time thing. I might have had a drop or too ooze out at other times but in general that was it for breast milk.

Urine. Yeah... I've peed myself. I'm not thinking of times when I was coerced into peeing and did so on my own volition. I am talking about times when I lost control and urine came out when I didn't command it too.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to losing bladder control. Having a full bladder is one of them. I do remember a scene where the dominant forced me to drink water-- a lot of it. By the end of the scene I was bursting (his intention) and when he applied some electrical shocks, it was easy for me to lose control.

There's also pain and exhaustion. Pain can simply distract from keeping body functions in line, disorientation like being spun around in suspension can do the same. I usually empty my bladder and my bowels before a scene, but especially when I was married to Jason scenes and punishment happened unexpectedly and I haven't always been in control.

I even peed on my own carpet once, which was really frustrating, embarrassing and annoying. And I got an extra whipping for that, as well (even though it was his fucking fault).

Female ejaculation? Nope.

Feces. Yes, though this is rare. I typically will give myself an enema (a small one) prior to a scene, but as I said before, I haven't always had control over that. Even so, I think the only times I've lost bowel control is when I was given a large enema as part of a punishment or scene. It can be almost impossible to hold large enemas.

Vomit. Well, yeah. Any girl that has given deep throat or had dildos shoved down her throat will be familiar with the gag reflex and the fact you can't always stop it. The result is stomach muscles contracting and stomach contents coming back up.

When deep throating, even when forced to do it while bound, I typically can keep from throwing up, but it is common for some slime to come up. Maybe just some stomach fluid, bile, or something. The worst is when that stuff comes up and you have a cock deep in your throat to where you think it is going to get into your chest and up comes the slime and into your nose it goes. Just.... ugh. God awful. Then of course, which is it? Snot or vomit? Or a bit of both?

The other time I remember vomiting was when I had an especially large enema and was told to keep it. It caused cramping and a lot of pain, and I had to work really hard on keeping it in (I still leaked a little), but it caused nausea as well. After ten minutes of holding it I threw up. Just a little.

That was also one of the times I lost bowel control. When I threw up from the nausea it distracted me from holding my anal sphincter closed and whammmmo.... out came a fair bit of enema.

Oh. One body fluid I forgot about? The most common one of all. Sweat.

Yeah, sweat comes from a few different things. One is heat, of course. Sometimes the scene is happening in a place without AC in the summer. That adds to the discomfort, of course. Another cause is working out, strain.

There are some bondage positions that actually encourage struggling, or force you to keep working at something. Predicament positions are like this, where I have to keep shifting weight, moving my balance or body from one side or place to another.

Don't get me wrong. Bondage scenes are usually not this messy. But as the saying goes, shit happens.

Sore in a Business Meeting

I am sore.

I'm sitting in a boring meeting at work thinking and writing about how sore I am.

I haven't been this sore in a while. I am at work and it is distracting. It reminds me that I do some rather extreme stuff outside of work, some things these people sitting the conference room talking about switches and routers and WAFs and data center leases would probably be shocked to know about.

(Just a bit of side news: I've collared my girlfriend. This has meaning to her. Something like a binding slave contract, though not nearly as rigid or legal. I'm coming to love that obedient bitch. 

I was collared to my husband and would prefer to be the submissive one, but my current relationship as the domme is working. She understands my needs (she has many of the same needs) and lets me pursue them. )

So last Saturday, four days ago, I visited a friend and dom who is one of the most knowledgeable and best doms I know. My ex is better, but not by much. We shall call him Dean.

Dean has a friend called the Marlboro Man. I think that's because he used to smoke them. Not sure.

I let the two of them team up on me. They are both bi so they rather enjoy having me suffer while they engage in pleasurable activities. Dean sort of outdid himself this time.

Each bit of soreness in my body reflects something Dean (or Marlboro) did to me. Just for background, Dean is older than me, not good looking at all, but fit enough with a good cock. Marlboro is a bit old, very good looking, fit, and has a huge cock. One of those cocks women think twice about and are probably a genetic defect.

So as I sit in this meeting and feel the soreness of my body, I think about what caused it. Starting with my nose. I just rubbed my nose and felt a sore place; inside the both nostrils.

Nose hooks. These don't really hurt, unless they've been pulled really tight and start digging in. Which Dean did. The twine holding the hook tight in my nose was pulled back and tied to a ring in the head harness.

I can still feel where the hooks smashed the inside of my nose and twisted it out of shape. I was called "little piggy" a few times. It was uncomfortable, and a bit humiliating. I'm good looking. Not gorgeous, I have an accurate self image and am not naive, but I am good looking. Having my face twisted out of shape to look like a pig and then called names by men that have me bound and helpless is humiliating.

Jaw and cheeks and gums. Like... owwww... I felt that at lunch today and I can feel it now sitting in this meeting.

These were caused by the gags, but mostly the ring gag. He used a ball gag most of the time which wasn't as bad, but the head harness had a really big ring gag.

I remember opening my mouth when Dean went to put it in. I opened wide and it wasn't wide enough. I made grunting protest noises but Dean didn't hesitate, he just slid it in, pressed and pushed and my jaw went further wide open than it was really designed to do and I moaned and whimpered as he fastened the buckles in the back of my head. He knows to ignore my whimpers and begging.

Try it. Open your mouth. Wider. Make it as wide as you can open it. Now imagine someone stuffing a metal ring in that stretches it farther and once in it's stuck that wide open. You can feel the ache in your jaw I bet. Yeah. Like that.

Ball gags can be pushed out with the tongue, and ring gags can be manipulated to flip sideways unless they are spider gags or unless the strap is on tightly. The ring gag was on tightly, and Dean pulled it tighter. That made the straps dig into the corners of my mouth, putting my lips into something of a rictus.

The gag itself was big enough it pressed rather painfully on the inside of my mouth. Not the gums, per say, but just behind the teeth. Yeah, it's smooth and rounded, but it still hurts. And this hurt.

My cheeks and the corners of my mouth are all better now, a couple days later, but the inside of my mouth is still healing from that damn ring gag that rubbed and bruised my inside mouth flesh. I'm sitting in this meeting right now, and running my tongue over the inside of my mouth I can feel a couple of nasty sore spots. They might even still be bleeding a tiny bit.

And of course my jaw... you can't hold your mouth that wide open for an hour or more without some real cramping setting in. There's lingering soreness in my jaw as I sit and listen to the CIO complain about data center costs.

So that was my head, and believe me there were times when that was plenty of pain, much of it lingering after the devices were removed. Enough I had tears on my face. I think that was the point. Dean likes to make me cry.

It didn't stop there though. Oh, no. No... it hadn't even begun.

Shoulders and upper arms.

Yeah, now those are still sore. I don't even have to move them right now, sitting at this table, to feel the aching. I used heat on them the night after the scene. I didn't seriously pull any muscles, but they were strained.

Marlboro tied my elbows together. Some people can do that, some can't. It's easier if you are skinny. I am not skinny, just average, but I've had my elbows tied enough times I am flexible and can do it no problem. I can do reverse prayers, as well.

So the elbow tie was uncomfortable but not terrible until he hooked me to a rope from the ceiling and lifted me up and off my feet. That's strappado, an actual torture used by a lot of people including the inquisition and the Nazis.

I'm looking across the table at my CIO. I wonder what he would think if he knew I had been suspended naked by my elbows for 15 minutes Saturday afternoon? I suspect he's a horny bastard, he'd probably want to fuck me while I dangled.

Fifteen minutes doesn't seem like a long time, but when your body weight is dangling from elbows pulled and tied behind your back and every tiny movement makes it worse-- it's forever.

He let me down after 15 minutes of working on my breasts (though I went back up later). Elbows behind back mean breasts sticking out begging to be played with. Dean loves to hurt my tits. They were slapped a few times, but that isn't what caused the soreness I feel now.

No, my nipples are sore now (every time I move they rub against my bra) because of the clamps. Dean put his nastiest clamps on me. These clamps have rubber tips, which is deceptive because the spring on them is so tight they smash the flesh down to nothing. My nipples are literally bruised and hurt.

The pain brought tears to my eyes (again) when the clamps went on.

At this point my jaw was hurting, my shoulders and elbows were under strain because I was dangling from them and the clamps just added another dimension to the pain my body was feeling.

To be honest, I wanted out. I'm not a true pain slut, but have learned to bear it because it intensifies the feelings of helplessness from being bound and manipulated by someone else.

But I have also trained myself not to use my safe word, and to bear it. To just... endure.

So when they took twine attached to the nipple clamps and began pulling on them, to make my body swing back and forth, I sobbed. Not just tears, I cried. I begged them to have mercy.

Those Dean pulled the clamps, watching me swing back and forth, while Marlboro took his cock and did a pretty deep blow job. Dean was getting off on my tears and begging, knowing how much pain I was in.

Well, I am thinking of that now as I sit in this meeting. I'm thinking about two days ago when I was hanging with my arms tied being my back, breasts sticking out, gagged with a ring gag, naked, nipple clamps used to swing me back and forth like a toy while two men give each other blow jobs; my pain and misery stimulating them to speedier orgasms.

I was lifted up twice, each time for about 15 minutes, then let back down for a rest. The second suspension was the one that really gave me the strained muscles I think. Sitting here in the meeting now, I can move my arm, put my hand behind my head or reach it out to push a button on the speaker phone and feel the muscles in my shoulder and side protest. The ache goes all the way to my chest, under my breasts.

What else is sore?

My back. I rarely get sore in my back from bondage, but this time it sure happened.

Without untying my arms, Dean brought me down and created a hogtie. My ankles got tied to my elbow ties and cinched up, pulling my legs back and toward my head.

Hogties can be fine, but when they are cinched tight they get really painful. And this was cinched to tied elbows, which didn't help at all.

I was there for a few minutes while the two men discussed whether they would piss on me or not. Piss is a soft limit for me. I hate it, it isn't fun, and Dean knows that if he does it I might call a halt and maybe even back off from visiting him.

So wisely, he decided not to piss on me, and just applied a vibrator to my cunt.

Then lifted me up into the air. I didn't realize he had done it until I was going up, but the cinch rope of the hog tied was hooked to the pulley rope and up I went.

That's what really caused this sort back. I can't sit still with it, I keep leaning forward or going back. People in the meeting must think I am high on too much caffeine, rather than sore from being tied up and sexually tortured over the weekend.

I dangled there for a while.

Dean and Marlboro had played with each other for a while. Marlboro had ejaculated, I think, into Dean's mouth, but I don't think Dean had cum yet. Marlboro is really resilient and gets hard again fast.

Truly being suspended means slowly twisting or rocking back and forth or turning. God I hate that. It is the feeling of being absolutely no control over your body at all. I hate it so much it almost gives me an orgasm by itself.

Then there was the ass hook. Yeah, Dean has an ass hook and just couldn't leave me alone to suffer, he had to keep adding stuff. So the hook went in my ass and got tied to my head harness so it would stay in, nice and snug.

The ass hook did not cause my ass to be sore, though. Well, it would have, but something much bigger and worse made my insides ache today as I sit giving a report on bandwidth usage.

I was up there for a while, which caused the back pain I am feeling now, as well as the tail bone ache that is plaguing me.

Marlboro lowered me enough he could take my gag off (thank you, thank you, oh god...) and stick his cock into my mouth. He was a bit soft from having cum inside Dean's mouth and it was my job to get him hard again. I did my best, which turned out to be enough because he pulled out after a coupe of minutes with a nice hard one.

The last round of abuse was what really caused my ass to hurt and make me squirm in my seat during this meeting.

It's not impossible to fuck me when I am hogtied, but it is difficult. The knees and legs get in the way. Tied ankles get in the way. It's hard without a lot of elaborate positioning.

So Dean and Marlboro lifted me up and plopped me down on a chair. My ankles got untied and retied to the back of the chair, and then cinched and pulled back further. The result was my ass and cunt laying out in the open, just waiting for them to use my holes.

A good deep fuck by a big cock can leave me sore all the way inside my abdomen, especially when the guy pounds me hard, which Marlboro did.

He traded off with Dean, who used my ass. I swear, right now in the conference room, I can still feel the throbbing deep in my rectum from where he pounded me.

I think that's really what got me thinking, sitting here in this meeting at work. The fact that my insides are actually sore. Up inside my ass, in my rectum, not to mention my sphincter. But also up inside my vagina, and what I assume is my cervix. I ache deep inside from the cocks that spent a fair amount of time ramming inside me while I just jiggled around in the chair, helpless, making drooling gurgles and moans.

Some of that deep inside soreness has to come from the ass hook, as well, I am sure.

Fuck, it was an intense weekend that left me needing a day to recover. I want another one.

Oops. Time for me to get up and speak. Laters...