Friday, March 1, 2019

Outdoor Self Bondage Experiment

(I'm going to admit up front that I did some dumb things here. I prepared and had backup plans, but ultimately I wouldn't recommend anyone doing what I did. In fact, I wouldn't recommend that I do it.)

Since the divorce things have changed quite a bit. I'm no longer in a 24/7 s/m relationship. At first I missed that. It was actually very difficult when he removed my slave collar. I'd worn that thing for several years and felt completely naked with it off; it was emotionally devastating.

When I first established life on my own it was difficult finding reliable bondage partners. I don't trust strangers from fetlife or some other forum, so I was restricted to people I knew or were referred to me. The problem was that several of my regular play partners hesitated to get involved with me in my new situation.

Yeah, I was sort of abandoned. I guess that happens with a breakup. People choose sides, or maybe they simply don't want to get involved, risk the perception that they've taken sides. I used to be his slave; a lot of people didn't want to step in and take his place. I not only lost friends from the divorce, I lost masters.

But I did rediscover the joys of self bondage. I quickly (like within a few days) had begun relearning and exercising my self bondage skills that had been dormant for a number of years. In fact, I began to remember just how awesome self bondage is. I do prefer the complete loss of control at another person's hand, with no escape until another decides it. But self bondage has an element of planning, excitement, creativity, and pleasure that is unique.

Since that time I've re-established myself both with Jason (my ex) and a couple of other partners that are truly first class at what they do, and also expanded into experimentation with a woman I have a relationship with now. But I have decided I want to continue self bondage from time to time to keep my hand in and to provide the variety and fun that comes with it.

Part of the fun of self bondage is planning and creating new scenarios. This can involve coming up with new positions, but also with methods of stimulating the body while tied up. Stimulation can be either pleasurable sexual stimulation, pain, or both.

I love rope bondage the most, it's always been my first love. But it is also true that rope bondage does not lend itself to self bondage. It's possible, and I do it, but it is a lot easier to release yourself using a key that a knife or shears.

It's also a lot faster to restrain yourself using shackles or cuffs or locks than with ropes that require cinch ties and are prone to failure (too loose/too tight).

A little while back I found myself wanting to expand my self bondage and try something very different and new. I thought and dreamed about options for a while, and came up with a scenario that I eventually implemented.

Bondage materials:

  • Head harness with ball gag, collar with D rings and a descending strap in the back.
  • Manacles for wrists attached to descending strap in back.
  • Waist and crotch harness, locking.
  • Transport style ankle manacles with a chain about two feet long between the ankles.

Release mechanism: travel to a previously cached key some distance away.

Stimulation: Four lead programmable TENS unit.

Location: A trail and meadow not too far from Palomar Mountain.

Yeah, there were a couple of weird things I did with this one, and one was that I wanted an outdoor self bondage experience. Outdoor bondage provides an added sense of vulnerability and helplessness. It also adds a certain nervous thrill over the possibility of being seen or discovered. I'm not an exhibitionist, but I have found that doing things that are risky can provide an extra thrill that drives my adrenaline and gets my heart pumping.

The second weird aspect of this scenario involved a thing I had never done before. I toyed with the idea of using a full hood on myself, cutting out vision and limiting hearing. Hoods tend to increase the feeling of helplessness, and I love/hate them. I actually had that bit planned when a different idea came to me.

Blackout, opaque contact lenses. The idea of temporarily blinding myself was thrilling. I wear contacts almost all the time, so wearing contacts wouldn't be an issue for me. Yes, a hood would accomplish the same thing, but for some reason the blackout lenses excited me, as if I would be truly blinded and helpless. It's sort of like being bagged-- you can see everything around you, you can breath air in and out, but you are slowly asphyxiating with a rising tide of panic. The idea of being blinded without anything covering my face or eyes made me wet just thinking about it.

It's also true that wearing a full hood out in the wilderness someplace has certain risks and I liked the idea of simply being unable to see without any external appliances.

There's a couple of companies online that sell sclera special effects contact lenses,  and also have completely opaque blackout lenses. I bought several sets, just so I could get used to them.

When they arrived I tried a set on and actually left them on for a while and yep, they blinded me. The experience was eerie, because I couldn't see a thing even though my eyes were open and had no blindfold or anything else on. Exactly what I wanted.

I wore them around my girlfriend a bit just to get used to them. She said they made me look eerie (which was kind of cool) and took pics of my eyes. My eyes are dark brown anyway and the blackout contacts didn't change there look drastically, but the solid opaqueness across the iris and the pupil could be seen and was indeed eerie. I think it was eerie because it looks like the pupil has expanded all the way until there is no iris left.

I then started looking for an outdoor area for the self bondage experience. I visited several areas, searching for one that was remote enough I could get myself restrained, travel some distance and let myself free, with minimal risk of running into anyone (no major hiking trails). It also had to be accessible, and not overly rugged. I wanted to hike and have to expend some effort, but didn't want to destroy my feet, fall, and break my bones in the process.

(In spite of what some people have claimed, I am not insane).

After finding the location, I parked and went back and forth, identifying where I would do this adventure. I memorized the ups and downs, where the trail went, the curves, bushes and trees along the way (some parts were exposed in a type of flat meadow area, others were in trees).

I practiced with the blind lenses again, making sure I could wear them without a problem (for the self bondage, once they went in I wouldn't be able to take them out again). They did let a little light through, but I couldn't see anything useful at all. They were not the highest quality comfortable lenses, but I could do it.

Looking forward to a planned self bondage session is half the pleasure, sort of like looking forward to your next vacation. I masturbated a number of times thinking about the plans, the details, the helplessness I would experience, the risk I would be taking.

The day of the event was selected and I was ready. The items I needed were simple. This wasn't a complex bondage routine. The entire week leading up to that day I abstained from sex. I didn't masturbate. I was completely celibate. (My girlfriend protested a bit, but we found other nice things to do, and snuggling was OK).

The day of I left an envelope of details as to where I would be with my girlfriend, who had instructions to open it at 5:00pm if I didn't show up.

I then gave myself an enema. This might sound strange but really it isn't; in fact it is common to give myself an enema often before any kind of intense scene or self bondage. Some scenes can get intense enough there can be loss of bowel control (usually minor but, hey... even a little is too much). It can also increase discomfort if I am tied up, restrained and find the urge to go.

Lastly, in some scenes (such as this self bondage I was about to engage in) things go up my ass and it's just nicer if it is clean.

After that bit of prep, I drove out to the trail head access and parked. As usual, I was the only person there.

I was excited. Nervous. I wanted to masturbate in my car before I began but refused to let myself. This is rather common for me before a scene, either self bondage or submitting to another, I tend to get excited in anticipation, my heart rate goes up and I get wet.

Yes, I was wet. I climbed out of my car along with the backpack of supplies and reached down and inside my shorts, touching myself. I was wet.

I set off hiking along a the trail. It actually wasn't much of a trail, this wasn't a place people commonly hiked (this was on purpose, of course). It was a beautiful day, sunny with a light breeze and blue sky; puffy white clouds floated by. I felt alive, and sexy, and aroused, and excited.

It took almost half an hour to get to the first location. A stump in a relatively clear area. My padlocks (there were two) both opened with the same key, and I had two of these keys. One of these keys I placed in a small crack on the top of the stump, sticking up where it could easily be felt. There was another key for the ankle shackles, which also went on the stump.

That was all for that location. Just the keys.

I continued hiking toward the meadow. This stretch was on a rather primitive trail, perhaps even a deer or animal trail, through some trees. There was a small creek I passed; it had a bit of water in it, though not much. Then the meadow. The large, open space with hills in the distance, trees scattered around. I marched to the oak tree in the middle.

I drank water, lots of it. If something happened, I wouldn't be able to drink and needed to be hydrated. I had already eaten a light breakfast.

Breathing in the clear air of the countryside (then sneezing because of my allergies), I enjoyed the peace and silence for a moment, then began the process.

First, I removed my top, a simple T-shirt made of light material. Tight enough to show my shape; I enjoy being attractive, sexy, and even a little slutty when heading to a scene. It puts me in the right mood.

Then my bra. I was topless in the open. It felt exhilarating.

I removed my boots (I had light hiking boots), then slipped off my shorts. I folded everything in a small pile at the base of the tree.

Last my panties, and I was naked. I wore no jewelry (I never do during a scene).

It was a combination of scary, exciting, arousing and cold standing in the field, naked.

I put the boots back on. I was going to be walking across some rugged terrain, and am not completely insane. I would easily tear my feet to shreds without the boots. It felt especially weird being naked, completely, except for boots. Huh.

The equipment for the self bondage was removed from the backpack, and the clothes replaced them inside.

First, the TENS unit and crotch strap. The TENS unit had to go on first.

I would have loved to have done something to stimulate my clit, give me pleasure and maybe force an orgasm or two while I was trying to get out of this whole predicament, but to tell you the truth automated, hands free clit vibrators just don't work well. They slip, they don't stimulate enough, they fall off, they are just in general unpredictable and disappointing. Pain, on the other hand, is something I can generate and make pretty reliable.

The TENS unit has four leads-- one set of positive and negative electrodes each. The two sets can be programmed separately. Normally the electrodes would need to be attached to either some sort of conductive sticky patch, or to a clamp or clip (which doesn't work as well).  I would do neither in this case.

The wired ends of the electrodes don't usually have any effect directly on flesh-- the contact isn't good enough. But... not all flesh is created equal. Insert those wired electrodes inside your body and they get very good contact. Better than with electrode patches on the flesh, I've found.

That's what I did. Each set of electrodes had been prepped, wrapped together using tape, back to back. There in the field I bent over, spread my legs a bit, and pushed one set of electrodes slowly into my anus. Once past the sphincter I kept pushing so they got a couple of inches up into my rectum.

OK... second set went up my cunt. Easier to do, I just slid the taped-together wires up my vagina two or three inches. Far enough they were well seated in there and wouldn't get pulled out easily. The tape on my thigh and hip and the strap would keep it in as well.

I knew from experience that the inside of both orifices would be quite sensitive to electrical stimulation-- and pain. The sensations from inside my rectum and deep inside my vagina are quite close and the pain seems to move from one place to another, as if there was a drill running through the thin wall between the two passages.

Part of self bondage is preparing yourself for the fact you might not like what you are creating once you are in the bondage, but making sure you can't get out of it. That's part of the thrill. Creating something you have no choice but to endure.

In this case I had to make sure I didn't later decide that I didn't like the electrical shocks I had set up for myself and manage to dislodge or pull out the wires. They had to stay in until I got the key, unlocked my bondage, and the scene was over.

The first step in this was to tape the wires to my thigh and crotch. I folded the extra length of wire leads into a tight bundle and pressed them against my left inner thigh. I then took some duct tape and wrapped it around my thigh and the wire leads, wrapping the tape around my upper leg about ten times. The wire was pretty secure, but I added a couple of more loops higher up my crotch quite close to my cunt, just to make sure.

Even that wasn't enough. That's were the waist and crotch strap came in. It's a relatively simple strap, not like the complicated ones that go all over your body. No, this just encircles the waist and can be tightened above the hips to prevent it from being slid off.

Another attached strap goes down between the legs and up the back side, covering the ass crack (or squeezing inside and spreading the crack, depending on how tight you make it.

Both stretches of strap can be locked in place.

The crotch strap/waist harness is also a good spot to anchor the TENS unit. I slipped the smallish box into the back of the waist strap using a small case that came with the unit. It was secure there, the belt part looped through the case and I had duct-taped the place where the wire leads plugged into the unit to prevent it from coming loose "inadvertently".

With the strap on and wires either tucked away or taped securely in place, I put the lock on the strap and clicked it shut. I now had a pre-programmed torture device attached to me. I turned it on.

Next came the ankle shackles. Very easy items. I sat down at the base of the tree and said OWWW and got up again. My bare ass on some rocks and tree roots. I chose a place more carefully and sat, leaned down and clicked the ankle shackles in place.

There was only one key for those, and it was back at the stump, but the ankle shackles were not as big of a deal-- the chain between them was about two feet long, which meant you could walk, you just couldn't take big steps or run.

I smiled and relaxed a moment when the shackles when on my legs, feeling the sensation of being bound, however loosely. The only way to get those off was to walk twenty minutes to the stump.

OK, so waist, cunt, ass, and ankles all set, time for the neck. I had a leather collar that included an attached strip descending the back. Dangling from that leather strip in the back were the handcuffs, all ready to go.

The collar went around my neck and I cinched it tight (not too tight but tight enough I could feel it). It felt good. I like being collared. The strap with the cuffs dangled down my back behind.

Right about then the TENS unit went through its first cycle. I felt a vibrating tingle, not painful but it had the odd feeling of making my ass feel as if it had something inside it. This went on for ten seconds then stopped. It was immediately followed by the same tingling vibration, almost a mild sting, inside my vagina. Ten seconds and it was over.

After the TENS unit finished its play between my legs, I went on to another thing I added at the last moment. Nipple clamps. I hadn't intended to use them because frankly... I've had my nipples clamped more times than I could possibly count, and the pain from the TENS unit was probably going to be plenty. But at the last moment I decided why not?

Many nipple clamps come on chains that connect them together, which looks nice and you can hang weights on them. I didn't use those for two reasons. First, I figured the chain would make it fairly easy to pull them off once I was bound and suffering, and I didn't want that. Second, I put bells on each one as a form of self humiliation. I thought about myself, naked, blind and in pain, staggering through the countryside, trying to find my key... all the while making little tinkling noises like a human wind chime.

I got them out and applied them to my nipples. They hurt, the first pain of the day. Most nipple clamps hurt, though there is a tremendous range of discomfort based on what kind of clamp they are, how tight they are, and where they are applied. These hurt enough to be distracting, and I knew they might actually be enough to distract from the pain that would be occurring in my cunt as ass pretty soon.

OK, so waist, cunt, ass, ankles, neck and tits all done. Next, the weirdest part. My eyes.

I picked up the contact container (the dangling bells making a small tinkling noise as I did) and popped open one of the two reservoirs that contained some saline and the contact. It stared at me, a solid black circle, daring me to put it on. I slid it out of the saline onto my finger, tilted my head back slightly and popped it in.

I went blind in one eye.

Popping open the second reservoir, I got the second contacted on my finger and popped it in.

And I was blind.

There actually was a tiny bit of light that filtered through the dark lenses, just enough I could tell it was sunny out. But I could see nothing. I was blind.

My heart was beating so fast at that moment and I could feel my cunt getting so wet. I wanted to masturbate in that field, under that tree, right then. But I held firm and refused.

I put the contact container down. I was almost done, but not quite. I noticed I had whimpered a little at the pain in my nipples. Nipple pain is actually so common for me I become aroused automatically whenever nipple clamps are applied. It still hurt.

So.... I bent down and felt around until I found...

The last item before actually locking my hands in the cuffs-- the head harness. A simple three point face harness with built in ball gag. I'd used it many times. It was comfortable, except wearing the ball gag tightly for long periods pulled on the corners of my mouth and could get painful, but then, that actually is what tight bondage is about. Discomfort and endurance.

The head harness was done late in the process, primarily because of the blackout contacts. The contacts actually do blind me-- and I wanted to get as much done as I could before I lost my sight. But because the head harness face straps go on either side of my nose and block easy access to my eyes, I had to wait until they were in before I did the head harness.

I buckled the head harness on tightly, cinching the straps. The one that held the ball gag in place I made sure was cinched extra tight so I couldn't expel the gag. Ball gags are actually easy to push out if you don't cinch them quite tight.

The TENS unit kicked in again. Oh god, it was annoying. It vibrated and stung just a little. Ten seconds in my ass followed by ten seconds in my vagina. I'd started the program on the lowest setting. If this had been on my skin, even with good contact pads, I wouldn't have felt it. But inside? Yeah. I felt it.

The head harness has one strap that goes straight up over my forehead and cross the top of my head, right where I part my hair. I had previously placed the second key to my locks on the inside of that strap, secured in place by several strips of tape. I would not be able to get to it, but if for any reason I ran across someone or someone rescued me, they could access it and free me.

Effectively blinded and gagged, I was ready for the last part. Locking my wrists in place. This is that special act that creates so much adrenaline it is almost the climax, the ultimate part of the whole self-bondage experience. That one moment where you step from freedom to irreversible restraint.

I put my left hand behind my back. The strap in the back was located only a foot below my neck, forcing me to bring my wrist up high. My wrists were not going to be in a reverse prayer, but they'd be high enough for it.  It was a strained.

The left cuff clicked into place. My right arm was still free-- it was still possible to bail, and get out of this. I waited for a moment, naked, blind, gagged, in pain... and closed the cuff around my right wrist.

I swear I almost had an orgasm right then. That moment when I clicked the cuff closed on my right wrist and I was committed.

My breathing was heavy, so much so my breasts were wobbling a tiny bit and my bells rang. I felt myself flush a little with embarrassment. The nipple clamps were still hurting like hell, though the pain would subside a bit in a few minutes, I knew. They were one thing I could remove if I really had to-- sit down and bend over and use my feet to grab the bells and pull them off. Which would also hurt like hell and I hoped I wouldn't have to do that.

So, time to try to find my key while blind. I had gone over the path several times, listened to audible landmarks, felt the path and noticed the obstacles, figured out landmarks I could locate as I walked. It would be a challenge, but I was confident. Not as confident as when I could see, though, and I began to wish I had taken a dry run while unrestrained but blind.

I started by finding a knot in the tree I knew pointed the right way, and followed some tree roots a few feet out to get started in the right direction. My clothes remained behind in the backpack.

The whole thing started off well, though I noticed immediately that while the sun was warm, the breeze was cool. It hadn't been a problem when I was dressed, but I was stark naked now and I imagined I had goose bumps, and my nipples would have been standing out of they hadn't been squished out.

The TENS unit was programmed to hit me with a cycle of ten seconds each, ass then cunt, every two minutes. It was also designed to bump the intensity by two each time it went through a cycle. This TENS unit had levels from one to 50. That means that 20 minutes later, when I would presumably get close to the key, I'd be at level 20.  Level 20 is enough to feel somewhat painful on my skin; nipples, cunt, legs, whatever-- it would hurt.

Inside? Inside my ass? Inside my (now very wet) vagina? 20 would would be agony. This was a motivator. Get the key now because if you don't you are going to be in a world of hurt. Literally.

I began to move quickly across the meadow, shivering in the cool breeze. This was in Autumn, but you have to realize that Autumn in southern California is actually rather warm. It can be downright hot. But for some reason, the breeze was cool that day. Just my luck.

I tried to move faster,  but there was an effective limit on how fast I could go, imposed by the leg shackles. I learned this the hard way-- I tried to go too fast, took too long a stride and hit the limits of the shackle chain. It jerked my leg and I fell. *Whump*. Damn.

Getting up was a bit of a struggle because I couldn't use my arms and my feet were limited to being two feet from each other. But I managed and continued on my way.

Of course I quickly realized I had been knocked off course when I fell.

Wham, the TENS unit hit me again. I think I was up to a 6 and it was no longer a little vibrate, it was painful. I didn't stop moving though, I just took the pain and kept walking.

And ran into a tree.

Fuck.

I stopped and listened, and determined I was probably close to the right spot and I just needed to head left a little.

Not being able to see was such an incredible psych trip. I wasn't blindfolded, no hood, I just couldn't see. One of my senses was just gone.

Wow, I felt helpless. That helpless feeling is exactly what I want and need from self (or any) bondage but this was crazy.

I was blind, bound, able to only walk slowly, and *whammo* the TENS unit hit me again and I bent over in surprise. It hadn't been two minutes, had it? My ass burned for ten seconds, then my vagina burned and buzzed for ten seconds, then I resumed walking.

I had to admit I had no idea if I was on the right track until I hit the stream. There was the little stream halfway to the key. I splashed across it then felt for the path. It was here somewhere.

Just then I heard a noise. Just after hearing the noise the TENS unit fired off, this time at maybe... a 10? And I just fell to the ground in a fetal position, letting the pain sweep through my groin, traveling from my ass to my vagina as if it were moving through the flesh... then it stopped and I continued laying on the dirt, listening.

I really did not want to be discovered. I had heard something moving in the bracken nearby, so I lay still, naked and restrained and with my little tit bells silent.

There was no other sound so I figured it wasn't a human. Not necessarily a good thing, because it could have been a bird, or a dog, or a coyote, or a mountain lion........ or a squirrel.

My tits were hurting and the TENS unit hit me again and I groaned and curled up on the ground for 20 seconds until it passed. Fortunately, my falling to the ground had confirmed I was on the path I wanted to follow. I recognized the hard pack dirt and bushes to the side that I seriously hoped were not poison ivy.

I decided my nipples had experienced enough pain for the day and sat on my ass, leaned over as far as I could until my tit bells scraped the ground (god those things were humiliating, whatever made me think they were a good idea?) and tried to move my feet close enough to where I could get to the dangling things.

It wasn't too hard, actually, the bells dangled down far enough I got the left one between my boots, squeezed on it and then moved my chest up. The clamp hung on to my poor stretched nipple, hurting like hell, until it finally shot off and I literally screamed into my ball gag. If a person was around, they knew I was there.

Damn I wished I could reach my poor left nipple and massage it-- that helps. But I couldn't and simply leaned over to pull off my right nipple clamp. Again, not hard, just fucking painful. I screamed into the gag mostly because it made me feel better and just as I was finishing up the scream the fucking TENS unit hit me again and my ass lit up like it was being pierced by a hot poker.

The scream went on and I fell over onto my side and waited for the pain to migrate through the interior walls of flesh from my rectum to my vagina, and then fade away suddenly.

I really needed to get going. I was on the right path but was only halfway and I swear, that TENS had reached level 20 already and if it went to 40 I was going to literally be in fucking agony. I didn't want that to happen.

I struggled to my feet and stumbled ahead.

I was in the forested area now, away from the meadow, and it had gotten colder without direct sun. I stumbled on a few more feet, stopped and listened for my audio landmarks, then stumbled forward a few more feet, grateful my tits were not swinging those damn bells any more and *wham* I doubled over as my ass and vagina had hot pokers stuck up inside them.

Later when I got back to the car, eventually, I saw I had tears streaking my face and I think that was the moment when they arrived. I didn't know I was crying, but I had started right about then. I noticed I was beginning to walk with my legs spread further apart, perhaps in a useless attempt to keep the shocks from hurting as much.

I was struggling against my restraints, too, a sign I was beginning to panic. The restraints weren't going to come apart, that was certain. The shackles were steel, the collar and strap behind were thick leather.

I kept going, hoping I was on the right trail, occasionally finding something that told me I was. A low hanging tree branch, a set of roots on the path, or whatever.

The TENS shocks continued to come every two minutes, bringing me to my knees each time. I rolled on the ground, seeing if I could remove the wires, dislodge them, but no. It would be better to simply reach the key than waste the time trying to detach or remove the TENS.

And of course I was drooling profusely. I was wearing a ball gag. That's part of the point of a ball gag, they make you drool; they take away just another bit of self control you have over your body and force it so your fluid drains out of your mouth. You are sliming yourself, saliva dripping over your chin and breasts and there's nothing you can do about it. It's humiliating and an annoyance like that loomed large in my mind as I plodded along, looking around, seeing nothing but black.

It seemed like several hours later that I reached the small copse of trees the surrounded the stump. I bumped into one of them, realized what they were and moved forward. Unfortunately, the stump had moved, or at least it seemed like it to me.

The TENS hit me and I collapsed on the ground and writhed for a bit, panting. When it finished with me I moved forward and around on my knees and finally found the stump. Turning around I lay myself backward on the stump so my hands could get close to where the key was... and I found it.

My heart was racing, my legs spread wide with fear of the coming shock. The key was in my right hand, I moved over and found the hole in the cuffs of the left, inserted, turned, and click my left hand was free.

Relief flooded over me. I had made it. I was going to be all right. I was-- *WHAM* I doubled over and groaned loudly as the shock hit me deep inside, then moved seamlessly across the thin wall between my rectum and vagina.

When it was over I managed to get my right wrist free with the key, and the first thing I did was rip the tape off the TENS unit and pull the wires out. I sank down, still blind and with wrist shackles, but relieved.

Next I reached up and removed a blackout lens. My fingers were filthy and I would probably scratch my eyeball, but I didn't care. I got both of them out and looked around. The world was unusually bright, and while I recognized it, having been blind for the last hour it looked different. I flicked the used contacts into the woods, never to be used again.

I slowly pulled the wires out of my cunt, then my ass, and then unlocked the belt and dropped it on the ground. I never wanted to see it again. The leg chains came off and finally I removed the head harness and ball gag. The collar also got removed.

Sitting with my back against a tree I reached down and felt my pussy. It was soaking wet. I laughed, giggled, and said out loud to myself, "You are such a fucking pain slut..."

And I allowed myself to masturbate. Nude, there in the trees, I spread my legs wide and fingered myself to an orgasm for the first time in a week. It was fucking glorious, I came like a freight train, my whole body tensed and shaking.

My clothes were back at the tree in the backpack. I went back nude in the forest but enjoying it quite a bit this time. I almost wished I could meet some hikers, just to give them a little shock, maybe a little fun. At the tree I got dressed and then checked my watch.

I had, in fact, taken a lot longer to get back to the stump. Not 20 minutes, I estimated it had been closer to 40. So yep, I had taken TENS levels up to around 40, though I never did know exactly how high it went. Trust me, I thought someone was fucking searing my insides. And yet, through it all, my cunt had stayed wet and aroused.

It took another 30 minutes to walk back to the car. I got in and masturbated again, this time with my left hand under my shorts, legs spread wide as they would go.

I drove home. I left the nipple clamps somewhere on the trail, I never went looking for them. I have a dozen pairs and frankly anyone I play with always seems to have something to smash my poor nipples and make me cry for mercy.

My girlfriend greeted me, glad I was OK; in reality she was glad she didn't have to go hunting for me. I took her to the bedroom and we got naked together and the two of us fucked for an hour, pleasuring each other intensely. She's good at what she does and I've never been bored making love to her.

I had two more orgasms then, and I masturbated one more time before going to sleep. I went over every bit of the experience in my mind, every bit of pain, frustration, helplessness, vulnerability, despair... and I knew I would masturbate to the memories many times in the future.