Diapers

Yes, you can tell from the title what happened to me recently. It has been one of the most (and perhaps the most) humiliating thing I have been through.

It was after the Halloween party. In general, that was quite successful; I made Jason proud, I felt sexy as hell, and apparently was the hit of the party from what people told me (though I couldn't see or hear it). Not to mention being strutted around totally enclosed in leather, pleather and PVC, blindfolded and strapped in public was an incredible turn on for me.

There was some great sex, too. With Jason, I assume. It felt like him. Since I couldn't see or hear I can't be 100% sure but I am pretty sure. I sure hope so, I don't really want to have sex with anyone else.

What bit me, my disobedience that night, was needing to pee. The outfit was complicated and telling Jason I needed to pee in the middle of the party wasn't a great idea, though I think I didn't have much choice. The alternative would have been to relieve myself inside the catsuit, and that would have probably resulted in worse punishment.

As it is, the punishment was bad enough.

It was Friday night following the Halloween party.

"Siobhan, please shave and clean yourself well tonight. We are going to change a few routines for a while and I want to make sure you are clean."

"Yes, Jason," I said politely. That night I shaved in the shower, made sure I was as smooth as possible and ready for whatever he had in mind.

Before going to bed, I presented myself to Jason for inspection. I stood naked before him with legs slightly parted as he sat on the bed. He approved.

"Good girl. Now, I have something for you."

Jason pulled out a package and ripped the plastic open. He pulled out an adult diaper, a full size replica of a baby's diaper.

As soon as I saw what it was I had a rush of emotion. Mixed feelings, really. One side of me was excited to have new play. It really is an exciting thing for me to submit to new kinks that Jason desires, whatever they may be, and this was certainly new.

The other side of me was a little more cautious though. I wondered what indignities would be going along with the wearing of a diaper. The more I thought about it the more I began to worry.

"Put this on, Siobhan. Make it nice and tight; we don't want leaks."

Leaks... OK. That meant something right there. It meant I was probably going to end up peeing in these things. I slipped on the diapers, adjusting them to make them comfortable and yet tight. They felt very strange, sort of soft and flexible but very bulky. The edges were elastic plastic that scratched a little but made a good seal. They smelled slightly of baby powder.

When I was done, Jason took out a roll of special tape. He explained as he secured my diaper with it.

"This tape is a special packing tape used to detect whether a package has been opened. In this case, you are the package, my dear. The tape has little strips that come off when they are removed. This makes it obvious if the package has been opened, even if you reseal it."

The tape went on both sides where the diaper was secured around my waist.

All in all, it was beginning to feel rather degrading wearing that thing.

"The rules around your wearing diapers are fairly simple. You may not take them off. You may not use the toilet. You must urinate and defecate into the diaper. I am the only person that can change the diaper. That's it. Those are the rules."

The reality and ramifications of what this meant was sinking in. Urination was one thing, but poop? It meant I would have to poop into the diapers, and then ask Jason to change me. I flushed beet red at the thought, the humiliation of what was going to happen, how I would have my own shit smeared all over my ass and cunt, and how he would have to wipe and clean me up.

"Jason... I ... I... am I allowed to ask why? Is this a punishment?"

"Well, Siobhan, after the incident at the party where you were unable to hold your urine, I thought perhaps you need to understand the results of being a baby with no control. If you can't control your body functions, you are going to have to be diapered for a while. Until you learn control like an adult."

I literally started to cry at that. It wasn't fair, though my relationship with Jason isn't exactly based on fairness. It is based on domination and submission. He was teaching me a very important lesson, that my body functions were not entirely mine. Jason was in control. He owned me, every aspect of me.

"I'm sorry, Jason. I'm sorry. Please... how long do I have to wear these?"

"Let's start with a week, and see how it goes. If you seem to have gained control, we might try you on some potty training and ween you off the diapers."

A week. It was like I had been dunked in ice cold water. How could that be? I had to work! I am an IT director for a large company, a professional office position. I have responsibilities with friends, with family, I have to shop. I was going to have to wear these diapers while I did all these things?

"Sir... how..." I was at a loss.

"You will have to choose your clothes well so the diapers are not too obvious. And of course, when you urinate and defecate will be up to you. If you don't want to embarrass yourself in public, you will control yourself."

My heart sank to my feet in despair. This was going to be rough. I was feeling completely humiliated and demoralized.

"Remember. If you undo the diapers, I will know. The security tape will show it."

"Yes, sir." I hung my head.

That first night was weird. I slept in the bed with Jason (I don't always, sometimes I must sleep in other locations if I am being punished or if Jason has decided I need to be reminded of my place). I was naked except for the diaper, which was a little bulky, but not too bad. I slept OK until the middle of the night when I woke and needed to pee.

I lay there thinking about it. Normally I would just get up and pee. But I wasn't allowed to use the toilet, I had to use my diaper. Ugh. Could I hold it? What for? One way or another I was going to have to pee in my diaper.

I actually got out of bed, went into the toilet and sat down on it, but instead of peeing into the toilet it went into the diaper. The familiar position made it a little easier to do, but when I was done my diaper was puffy and full of urine.

It wasn't like it was soaking cloth; the diaper material actually did a reasonable job of absorbing liquid and the liner kept it from getting me too wet. But I had... a full diaper. I felt so foolish. So embarrassed. As if I was incontinent.

Going into the bedroom, I shook Jason, waking him.

"Huh? What? What ... what is it?"

"Jason. I ... um... I wet my diaper. I need it to be changed." I think I had a tear trickling down, that was such a humiliating thing to admit and ask.

Jason sighed and lay there for a moment, then said, "Siobhan, just wait until morning. I will change you when I get up. Go back to sleep."

That was it. A bit of a shock. I was to wear my wet, full diaper for another couple of hours until he was ready to get up. It was awful, the idea of having to lay around in a wet diaper, soaking in my own urine. I wanted to cry again, just sob until morning.

I climbed back in bed, laying flat with my legs spread slightly so I didn't squeeze the diaper material and cause any urine to make it's way back out. It had started out warm from the heat of being in my body, but the urine quickly turned cold. I was laying in bed, waiting for sunrise, with a freezing wet diaper.

Jason's alarm finally went off and he got up and went pee in the toilet as I lay there. He came back, pulled the covers down and looked at me.

"Yep. Full diaper. Let's change you."

He got an oil cloth that he pulled underneath my hips. I lifted my legs slightly to give a better angle and he pulled the tape, loosed the diaper and removed it. Wow, what a fantastic feeling. Relief. I lay naked on the bed, my knees pulled up and legs slightly separated for him to work.

Jason wiped me with a baby wipe, and I was clean. He then gave me just a touch of baby powder, a nice feeling and scent, and then on went a fresh diaper. Sigh...

Choosing clothes was harder. The diapers were fairly slim, but still added an unnatural bulk so I could not wear anything tight. I could get away with loose fitting jeans, or skirts. I tend to wear clothes that accentuate my body; Jason likes me to look sexy. It was difficult but I finally settled on a skirt and dressed myself.

The day went well, but I learned quickly that I was not going to be able to just pee in my diaper and ask Jason to change me immediately. He would do it when he wanted to, and that was most likely going to be in the morning, or in the evening, and maybe at bedtime. So I would either have to live with a full, wet diaper for hold it inside myself. Which was worse? Both were bad. Holding pee inside is uncomfortable at first but slowly becomes more and more painful. Holding pee a long time is horribly painful. At some point, letting it go and living with a wet diaper was much preferable.

Then there was poop. It was easier to hold poop for a longer time, but eventually I had to let it out. When I did, I stank. When I did, I didn't want to do anything until my diaper was changed, because sitting, moving, whatever, smeared and smashed the awful stuff over my ass.

My first poop was around 4:00 pm, and fortunately, Jason agreed to change me at 5:00, so I just stood in the corner and stank and cried until he was ready. The clean up process was demeaning, but when it was over I felt a lot better.

Over the weekend I tried to get a handle on controlling my peeing and bowel movements. I changed what I drank to keep from having sudden, massive urges to pee at random times. Drinking water only allowed me to regulate and calculate when I would need to pee and I could sort of time things for when Jason was willing to change me.

My bowels were harder. I actually cut down what I ate significantly, going on a rather strict diet. The first couple of poops were awful, and I cried and hid while I waited for Jason to change me. Then my new diet kicked in and things were a little better, though still awful.

Monday morning was a test. I had been wearing diapers for two and a half days, and I was about to go to work, a place where I would not be able to hide or ask Jason for a change. I would be on parade in meetings and in hallways where everyone could see me.

I dressed conservatively in loose clothing. For anyone that paid attention, it was clear that something about me was different, though "diaper" was probably not what people thought.

The first day, Monday, I managed to go to about 2:00pm without peeing, but holding my bladder began to hurt around noon, and I suffered with it until 2:00. At that point I was sitting in my office, behind my desk, and lowered my head in absolute shame and let it go. I peed right there, into my diaper, in my office. A full bladder.

I tried to work for the rest of the afternoon from my office without moving. The smell was not bad at all, and sitting behind a desk no one would notice. I didn't make it. At 4:00 I left early for the day, headed home and waited for Jason.

At 6:00 PM on Monday Jason came home to find me naked except for my diaper, standing in a corner waiting for him to return. My diaper was full with two bladders worth of pee. I was holding a poop, and when he came in I asked to be excused, went into the bathroom, squatted and filled my diaper as full as it had ever been.

I then went out and asked Jason to change me, which he did.

In some ways that first work day was the worst. Tuesday I had gotten my schedule down better; I didn't drink anything at all (at the risk of dehydration) until late afternoon, and my limited diet meant no poops, or at least small ones that I could hold until I got home.

Thursday was difficult because I had an unexpected need to poop at 10:00 AM. I held it, or tried to, for some time. At noon I finally closed the door to my office, squatted and let the poop fill my diaper. It was a mistake.

I smelled. Terrible. I couldn't remain at work that way. But leaving my office, every single person I passed would know something was wrong, because I stank, and I mean I was potent. I did the best I could, waiting until the area outside my office was vacant, then heading toward the building exit. Of course I was stopped on the way by my boss, who wanted to check on some purchase order, and I could tell he smelled it and I had to explain I wasn't feeling well and had to go home.

"Yep, I think so," was all he said. I flushed bright red and left.

Jason wasn't going to be home until 6:00, so I ended up just laying on my side, curled up, with a completely full diaper, stinking. I cried, just like a baby. To make it all worse, I had diaper rash.

Yes, I had diaper rash. He point ointment on me, smearing it around. I cried while he did this, I was so humiliated. I decided right then I would rather that he have placed me on the wooden pony for a half a day of agony than to have endured this for a week.

Friday evening rolled around, finally, and Jason undid my diaper and cleaned me up for the last time.

"I think you have learned a lot of control this week, haven't you Siobhan?"

"Yes, I have. I've done the very best I can and I think I've done pretty well," I said honestly.

"What have you learned about your body control?"

I knew exactly what I had learned.

"I learned that you, my owner and master, are in ultimate control of my body, including all its functions."

Jason smiled really big at that. He was proud of me. That gave me a thrill, and I smiled back at him. He lay on top of me where I was, on the bed, slipped his hard cock inside me and fucked me really, really well.

I felt incredibly happy.

I hope to never see another diaper in my life, though.