The subsequent enema punishment a week later was also painful and I failed at it, allowing some leakage before being allowed to go to the toilet. Jason promised additional training for body control and submission as a result.
I haven't written about it yet, but Jason did follow through on that promise (or threat, depending on how you look at it).
The first sessions involved bladder control. They occurred over two rather painful and embarrassing weekends.
Saturday morning and we were at breakfast. I had fixed a nice one of scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice. Later, I planned to do some grocery shopping and meet with a couple of neighbors for lunch.
My eyes got big and I said nothing. I was imagining the possibilities, mostly painful.
"Get undressed, and meet me in the playroom." The playroom is our third bedroom, and has been specially equipped with various devices used during sex, discipline, domination and... well... torture. Yes, I have to admit I am tortured. It is my pleasure to be tortured by and for Jason.
I went into the playroom, shaking a little in anticipation. I pulled my top off over my head, and unhooked my bra. Both pieces were folded neatly on a shelf designated for this purpose. I was wearing casual jeans, which I removed; typically I am barefoot at home, I am not allowed to wear shoes inside. Last came my panties, which I folded with the pants on the shelf, and I was completely naked. For the next several hours, I would not need to be clothed.
"Lay down on the table on your back and spread your legs," Jason said calmly.
I did as instructed. I had no idea what was coming, but I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. I spread my legs, exposing my genitals for him, and waited.
Then came the speculum. It's a smooth, high quality stainless one from a medical supply. I've had it inserted many times before. It's a little uncomfortable, especially when cold, but not bad. I felt it slide in and then expand, spreading my flesh and stretching it slightly. I always feel like that speculum is designed to drive home how no part of my body is off limits. It exposes my body more than just being naked. I am forced open in unnatural ways for examination and... manipulation.
He then produced some tubing that ended in a catheterized tip. Oh. I now began to understand what he might be doing.
A tiny bit of lube on the tip and he massaged my cunt flesh, spreading and poking around to expose my urethra. I could feel the lubed end of the catheter probing around and then find the entrance to my urethra. Jason pushed gently.
Jason could see I was having trouble. Moaning and wriggling a bit, I had managed to allow the catheter all the way in, but whatever was coming next wasn't going to be pleasant. I looked at him with pleading eyes.
"Would it help if you were restrained for the next part?" He asked kindly.
I nodded my head. Things are always easier for me when I am tied up, the tighter the better. I needed to be bound. He knew this. I can take a lot, but I need to be helpless. Nothing turns me on more than having my body abused when I am unable to respond or even move.
He used the medical restraints. Nicely padded cuffs that buckled tight and spread my legs out. I was able to wriggle about quite a bit, but my wrists and ankles were secured at the side of the table, exposing my body and keeping me from attempting to cover myself or remove the catheter.
Jason also kindly inserted a dental gag, spreading my jaw open. There wasn't anything necessary about this, but the feeling of having one's jaw forced and held open adds to the feeling of helplessness and invasion. And believe me, I was being invaded.
The catheter had a clamp on it to keep any liquid from coming out. I did not need to go to the restroom before he had told me to submit to him in the playroom, but when he unclamped the tube there was a sudden flow of urine that went into a pot positioned just below my butt on the table.
"We need to start with an empty bladder so I know exactly how much liquid is inside you at any time. I want to be precise," he said. It was meant to reassure but it didn't. I was nervous and a bit scared about what he was doing to me, but I was tied down now and had no choice. Whatever he did, it was going to happen whether I liked it or not.
I hadn't really questioned anything until now. It isn't my place to question what Jason does to me or my body. I've learned and gotten quite good at simply obeying.
But at this point I was shaking I was so nervous. My mouth was held wide open by my mouth spreader which made it impossible to talk, but I made some noises with my tongue. "Anngnggg ngnng eng enn engggggeeeaaaa?"
Jason understood reasonably well.
"I am going to fill your bladder and we are going to practice having you hold it. We'll do this a little each day, increasing the amount that you can hold, and how long you can hold it. It will be unpleasant, but I will enjoy the process and that's what counts."
I turned my head away to keep him from seeing a single tear that trickled down my cheek and simply nodded my head. I understood.
And so what Jason termed my bladder control training (and I refer to as my bladder torture) began.
"That was 200 milliliters. Just a start." Jason refilled the syringe and once again pushed the plunger and I could feel the cold water flooding and expanding my bladder. I wriggled a little in my restraints as I felt suddenly much more full, the sensation of needing to pee coming on. It wasn't painful. I just needed to go.
"400 ml. That's a full bladder, but at the low end."
It didn't feel like the low end. If my bladder felt this way on the road, I would have asked we pull over at the next stop.
"Let's just hold that for a while, shall we?" Jason said.
"aaaahhhhh????" I said with pleading eyes. I needed to pee.
"Yep. We will start this at half an hour. You can do that." Jason was brimming with confidence about my ability to withstand discomfort.
"Aaaaggghhhh...." I said, accepting his demand unhappily.
Jason left the room, leaving me alone, strapped down to the table. That was cruel. Had he stayed around, he could have distracted me from the discomfort in my abdomen. But no.... he left.
After 15 minutes I would gladly have had him flog me, just to distract from the nagging feeling of needing to pee.
I would peed, too, even if it had been all over the torture table in the play room, dribbled all over onto the floor and everything. It's amazing how one's mind can think of nothing else when your bladder is full. Just needing to empty it. But... the catheter was clamped shut, I was restrained, and there was no pee for me.
Jason returned and I immediately begged for relief. "Aaaaeeeghhhg ehehehhhhggg!!!!"
"I see," he said kindly. "Well, let's unclamp you."
With that he unclamped the catheter and the water immediately began to run out, fast. I couldn't have stopped it if I had tried because the tube ran all the way to my bladder.
My bladder, the ability to retain or expel urine, was entirely at Jason's whim.
When all the water was gone, I let out a sigh of relief. "Ahhhhh....."
"OK, some recovery time before we start again?"
My eyes got wide. "Aaaahhhh????!?!!!" He was going to do some more????
He waited for a few minutes and then injected me again. More fluid into my bladder.
"Ohhh... uuuccckkkkk uucccccckkkkk!!!!" I cried out from my forced-open mouth. Two syringe fulls and I was back at 400 ml. It seemed more painful this time. But of course, he couldn't stop there. Another syringe.
"600 ml. That's a good full bladder. It should be quite uncomfortable now."
I nodded frantically. "uh huh uh huh..."
"Eeeeeeese... eeease?" I was begging now to be released. The clamp shut off my catheter and I was filled.
"Be back in half an hour!"
"ooohhhhh!!!!!!" I cried.
"What, you want something to distract you?"
I knew what that meant, but frankly... I was willing to accept it. "Eessssss".
Painfully tight ones, with twine rising up and tied from a hook above me so my nipples and breasts were pulled away from me. Yeah, they hurt. It was a different kind of pain though. Just... regular pain. Not the kind of urgent pain where my body was telling me I could do something about my bladder. My body could not understand why I didn't just release it. Why didn't it just flow out?
I lay there, nipples dragged out, bladder full, all by myself, in agony.
I shouldn't call it agony. I've been in agony when I had a pulled and torn ligament from a bad bondage session. I've been in agony from hanging in strappado just a little bit too long. I've been stapled. I've had my ass beaten until it bled. I've dangled from the ceiling by my ankles while my nipples received random shocks. Those hurt a lot worse.
Still, there is something very special about bladder demands and the cramps that set in when they aren't met.
I'd been in the playroom for two hours when he started the fourth session. 900 ml. Oh god, my bladder was so full. He wanted to get me to a full liter of water, but I was sobbing, tears running down my cheeks after holding 900 ml for an hour.
Yes, an hour. I was tied down and unable to pee for an hour. My life had narrowed to my lower abdomen. I forgot everything else. My job, my home, friends... all gone. All I could think about was the pain just above my cunt.
My bladder was so full I could see it. I raised my head and looked at my abdomen and could see the hard distention of my urine sack, low down in my abdomen. It didn't look like that much. But it was so clear, the bump under the flesh like a huge malignant tumor. That was it. My bladder, filled to bursting.
I wondered if it could actually burst. I didn't think so, but I was beginning to think it might.
After an hour of serious pain, writhing against my bonds, crying and begging, raising my hips up and moving from side to side, after an endless hour, he released the clamp.
The full 900 ml came gushing out.
It was strange. The sense of relief when I was finally able to pee was tremendous. Huge. It felt so damn good I almost didn't mind being filled. Almost. Not quite.
Finally he removed the catheter, slowly pulling it out of my urethra. That felt fantastic as well. God, it felt good. The nipple clamps had come off some time before, so when the speculum was removed I was all done.
Jason removed the restraints, I sat up on the table and panted. He put his arm around me, kissed me, and told me how proud he was of me. That made me glow and I looked up at him and grinned.
"I can take a lot, can't I?"
"Yes, my little Siobhan, you are a real trooper. I am proud of you."
So that was Saturday. The training continued on Sunday after had a wonderful romantic night out the evening before. Honestly, Jason can be so romantic. I love him so much.
Anyway, Sunday came and at 10:00am the second training session continued. I continued to be tied down because, well, I wanted it. I not only love being tied, but it took away my ability to fight the training, which I was sure I would do. I would not be capable of just laying there and doing nothing while my bladder was in agony.
We varied the amount that I took alternating between low volumes of liquid held for long periods of time (like two hours), and high volumes of liquid held for short periods of time (10 or 15 minutes).
It wasn't becoming any more pleasant. I was simply becoming more familiar with the pain. Two hours, laying there with nothing to think about but a full bladder and wanting to release my urine... I have to say, I got used to it.
The second weekend we tried for the ultimate goal-- large volumes of liquid, held for long periods at a time.
Jason also did the most unusual thing. For our first exercise of the day on Saturday, he filled my bladder with 700 ml, which is quite full but not enough for incredibly painful cramps, and then we fucked.
Yeah, he inserted his cock into my cunt and fucked me, while I had the catheter inside me with a really full bladder.
Was it fun? Um... well, I came. A good, solid orgasm. Knowing the pain and pleasure together were part of the kinky experience, well I suppose it enhanced things a bit.
I love being fucked, raped in bondage; rough fucked in painful and difficult ways. So this wasn't that much different. The feeling of the catheter inside did sort of enhance the sensations, especially on my clit.
Jason reported afterward that he thought I felt noticeably tighter. I guess my full bladder created more of a bulge and pressure down on my vagina and he could feel it with his cock inside me.
Saturday afternoon we reached a sort of maximum goal. 900ml held for two hours. Good god that hurt, and it just went on and on, getting worse as it went on. I might have started at 900ml, but my kidneys were working and during the course of two hours I am sure they added another 100 or 200 ml. I mean, it really hurt, rather like having a charlie horse cramp in your leg, except this was inside my abdomen and didn't get any better. It got worse as time went on.
But ohhhhh... the amazing feeling of relief and joy when Jason finally unclamped me and the liquid ran out. I cried in relief, actually.
At 900ml you can really see the belly distended. It looked a bit like I was pregnant.
So... that was it for Saturday.
The last part of the training that occurred on Sunday was to fill my bladder but not tied up or immobile. I had to fill myself and show off my distended stomach proudly, walking about, doing housework, serving a meal.
It's rather like how my limits have expanded since I have been with Jason. I can spend more time secured in tight bondage, take more painful positions and torments, and I can do it all without complaining.
The next Friday evening I cooked a meal with 800ml in my bladder. I was naked, of course, and Jason would come by at times and put his hand on my stomach. We could see how I was distended, and yes it hurt but I went about the kitchen duties without complaining.
We sat down at the table (Jason clothed, myself naked) and had a nice time. It became increasingly difficult to hold the liquid without grimacing and showing the pain, but when the meal was done Jason came up to me and told me to show off my accomplishment.
I smiled and felt the curve of my abdomen, the tense flesh stretched over the expanded bladder. He touched it as well and told me how proud I was.
It's an accomplishment. I can take more pain now, I have confidence I can control my bladder better than anyone. It's an accomplishment in training my body, in extending my limits and in showing Jason my complete obedience to his control.