Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Losing My Virginity

Some time after I had begun my journey with self bondage and exploring my sexuality with both girls, guys and rope, I lost my virginity officially and spectacularly.

I won't say how old I was, for a variety of reasons. Let's just say I started early, just as my experimentation with bondage started quite early. Dildos, both official and makeshift, had been a part of my life for a while, so there wasn't any physical change from the experience. My vagina was ready for a man long before a man entered my vagina. Nevertheless, I will always remember the experiences leading up to and the actual act with fondness and a wry smile.

My parents would visit my grandparents (my mother's parents) once every couple of weeks or so. My uncle lived quite close by. Their homes were on the side of a low hill covered with a mix of trees and empty fields, out in the country. My uncle had three sons, and one of them was my age. Kevin and I were friends since I could crawl. We would fight, play, and just generally have a lot of fun whenever we got together.

At this time in my life (before I had a license and could drive), I would become bored and go out to hike on the hill and around the fields. I loved discovering wildflowers, climbing trees and exploring, though I avoided the white boxes of the bee farm that someone kept on the base of the south side of the hill.

When my cousin was home, we would go out hiking together. My parents never gave this a second thought. Kevin was family, and we had been playing together forever. Where normally I would have been watched if I were with a boyfriend and kept close, exploring and playing with Kevin was never an issue. So after I hit puberty, began playing with bondage, and seeking any chance I could to explore what boys and girls were like as sensual beings, Kevin was just there-- a tall, pretty good looking guy that I liked and had always shared things with.

On the other side of the hill from my grandparent's house was a shack. I have no idea what it had been used for. It wasn't a house; it was a single room thing made of wood planks with a single door and a single window. It was probably used for storage years before when the area had been farmed or ranched. It had been standing empty for years.

It became a favorite place for me and Kevin to visit during our outings.

Kevin was less experienced than I was when it came to sex, and he began asking me about it one day when we were sitting inside the shack. He knew I had had boyfriends, casually, just guys I hung out with.

"Do you ever kiss them?" he asked.

"Sure. Whenever I can. It's fun." I answered.

"Like... tongue kisses? French ones?"

I laughed. "Kev, that's the only kind I have with a boy. Regular kisses are for, like... grandma. If you kiss a boy, it's a tongue kiss."

"I kiss Jenny. But she won't let me hold her or really kiss her deep." (Jenny was some girl that lived nearby that he was trying to date).

I could tell what Kevin was thinking. I strung him out for a while, but finally asked. "You want to practice with me? Kissing, I mean? Like, really kissing?"

His face went red and then he grinned. "I thought you would never offer! It's not like we are doing it for real or anything, I just think it would be cool to see what it is like. Maybe practice."

I shuffled over to him. I was wearing tight jeans and a plaid shirt that hid my bust but hinted at my shape. He was a good foot taller than I was, so I reached my arms up and propped them on his shoulders kind of sexy, and pressed my body against him slightly, just enough so he caught a hint of what was under my shirt. I shook my long dark hair back and looked up at him, waiting. He hesitated a moment, suddenly shy with his cousin, but I didn't move. My face was only about a foot away from his and I licking my lips, demanding he make his move.

He did. His face came down, and I closed my eyes and his lips touched mine. It wasn't strange kissing my cousin romantically; it seemed very natural. Maybe it was because we were so close, friends for so long, and were used to sharing everything. His being a really cute guy helped some, too.  Anyway, as his lips touched mine, I opened my mouth slightly, slipping my tongue out just a bit to tease him and invite him in. His own tongue met mine, and his arms encircled me, pulling me close.

That first kiss between us lasted about a minute, but seemed like forever. It was really, really good. Kevin knew how to kiss; I don't know if he had been lying to me just to get me intimate with him or if he was just a naturally good kisser. Didn't matter, his tongue penetrated my mouth and played with mine passionately.

When we broke, there was a moment of silence and then we both backed away, aware that we had maybe enjoyed that a little more than we were supposed to. He thanked me, told me I was an amazing kisser and we started talking about other things. It was a bit awkward, and we soon left the shack and hiked around the old covered reservoir at the top of the hill and then back to my grandmothers.

On the way I shared some of my sexual experiences with him. Yes, I was still a virgin, but had made out with boys and was getting more and more active in self bondage. I actually told him about it. He was amazed.

"That is so fucking hot. You really like being tied up, huh?"

"Yeah. I have no idea why. It turns me on like nothing else. I like the feeling of being helpless. I like the feeling of being restricted. I just wish I had someone that would do it with me because in the back of my mind I always know there is some way I have left myself to get loose, so I am never truly helpless."

"Aren't you afraid of getting trapped? Or of someone finding you that way?"

I laughed. "Oh, yeah. Well, the second time I ever did it I actually did get stuck and Mom and Dad almost came home before I got the ropes cut off. After that I have always made sure I had a way out."

He was quiet for a while, and when we got back to my grandmothers house, he said he had to get back home and took off. It was three weeks before I saw him again.

When we did see each other again, he predictably said he wanted to go for another hike around the hill. I said I wanted to see if the Johnny-Jump-Ups were out and pick some (my favorite wild flower). We headed off around the south side of the hill and when we got to the shack we went in and sat down. He pulled out some weed and we smoked a little. I didn't get high that often back then, and it was nice.

Before long Kevin kissed me again, much more confidently. I have to say, I enjoyed it and kissed him back. He pushed me down on the floor and our legs intertwined, bodies pressed against each other. His right hand slipped under my top and found my breast, shoving my bra up. It felt really good to have his hand on my bare flesh and I moaned to encourage him on. He played with my nipple for a while as we kissed, and then I sat up, and took my top off.

We sat facing each other and he reached out and touched my breasts. This was as far as I had gone with any boy, and I think I did it because I trusted and liked Kevin more than any other guy I had ever made out with. He was fascinated by my boobs, and liked how my nipples hardened as he touched.

"God, Siobhan you are the hottest girl I know," he said thickly. I knew I was good looking, and prided myself on being slim but still having good breasts.

"Thanks, Kev. You are pretty hot as well." I leaned over and kissed him again, deeply, as he caressed my naked flesh.

We broke after a moment, and he stood up suddenly. "I have something. If you want. I mean, I thought you might like to try something. Here."

He went over to the corner of the shed by the window and came back with two long pieces of cotton rope in his hands. He looked really nervous, and just stood in front of me.

"You want to tie me up?" I said with a slightly shocked voice.

"Well, no. I mean, not me. You seemed like, you maybe wanted someone. And you have done a lot for me, like, kissing me and showing me your boobs and stuff. I thought you would like it, but if not..." He turned, embarrassed.

"NO! Kevin, no, I just didn't expect it. This is like... a dream come true. I never even thought about it, but... would you?" I looked at him hopefully.

"Sure. Yeah, I think it would be fun. Let's do it!"

I stood. I was still naked from the waist up, but had my jeans and shoes on. He looked at me and his eyes widened as he saw my breasts standing out from my chest. They are perky breasts, if I do say so myself.

We worked out that he would tie my ankles together first, which he did with my help. I showed him a good knot which was secure but could be undone quickly. Then, he tied my wrists in front of me with the longer stretch of rope. I could already feel the pleasure rippling through my body from having someone tie me up; the feeling of helplessness and submission was such an adrenalin rush it was like I was getting high. Kevin seemed to enjoy it as well.

Once I was tied up I struggled a little to get free. With my help Kevin had tied some good knots, and they weren't loosening. He watched as I struggled and even hopped around the shack, my naked boobs bouncing a bit. It was about two in the afternoon, and warm. The sun streamed in through the open doorway and window. No one was around, but being tied up out in that field, even inside the confines of the shack, was exhilarating. I was flushed with excitement and pleasure, and just a little sweaty.

Kevin came over to me and took the trailing rope from my wrists. "I think you might get out of that if you try too hard. Let me try something."

He threw the rope up over a rusted metal hook in the wall a couple of feet above my head. When he pulled, my arms went up over my head and I was dragged to the wall. He pulled again and my arms stretched taught, until I was standing on my tip toes. I gasped slightly with the unexpected feeling of having most of my weight pulling on my wrists. Kevin gasped with the sight of my breasts pulled up, ribs extending and visible, as I rose as high as I could to relieve the pressure.

I dangled there as Kevin tied off the rope, my hands feeling like they were swelling from pressure as I pressed down as hard as I could with my toes to support myself. Every breath I took moved my breasts and made the tight flesh of my flat stomach expand and contract. Kevin was watching me intently. I was feeling wet and as aroused as I had ever been before. Being tied and truly helpless was a dream come true to me, and better than I had ever imagined.

"Siobhan, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Hanging there, you look even better. Hotter. I have such a fucking hardon right now..." Kevin was breathing harder, and I could see the bulge in his jeans.

"Well, let's see it then." I said, wriggling a little.


"Let's see that hard cock of yours, if it is so hard," I taunted him, still wriggling to try and find a more comfortable position that was eluding me.

Kevin hesitated a moment but when I gave him a come on, idiot kind of look, unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. It seemed to spring out of the V opened from his zipper, and he was right. It was hard. And big. I stared at it. I was wriggling in the ropes as much from sexual frustration as anything.

"I would touch it for you, but I seem to be tied up," I said.

He moved closer to me, placing his hands on my breasts, sliding his fingers over my nipples, and then running his hands around my back until he was pressed against me. Stretched up on the rope as I was, my head was almost as high as his and he kissed me again, this time pressing himself against me. I could feel his cock driving against my hip as he thrust, moving up and down, dry humping me.

"I want to fuck you more than anything right now." He whispered huskily in my ear as he continued to caress and dry hump me where I hung.

"Well, you aren't going to find a better time," I responded. It was true, too. Not only was I tied up and helpless to resist him, I was hornier than I had ever been, hornier than I believed possible. I had no judgment left, I just wanted fulfillment, sexual fulfillment. My helplessness and inability to take action to fulfill myself made my arousal even sharper.

Kevin reached for my jeans and unbuttoned them, pushing his hand down inside. His fingers reached and strained, pushing down and then pulling on my flesh until they reached the softness of my pussy. When they rubbed my clit for the first time I moaned again, gasping and trying hard to lift myself up and spread my legs, to encourage him deeper. I couldn't; I was hanging from the damned hook and was completely helpless as his fingers rummaged around inside my pants.

He pulled his hand out and used both hands to wriggle my tight jeans down over my hips, hooking his thumbs under my panties and pulling them down as well. They fell to my ankles, and I was hung naked and exposed before him. He pushed closer, his cock pressing against my bare belly, and kissed me again. I felt his cock slide against my flesh, and his ball sack pressed into the triangle of pubic mound.

I think he was going to try and fuck me as I hung there. He pushed several times, rubbing his cock against my stomach and then trying to squeeze between my thighs. I tried to help but I was hanging by my wrists with my ankles tied together. It was impossible, and we were both inexperienced. After humping me and groping me in that position he finally untied the rope and I slipped down to the floor, still bound hand and foot.

He climbed on top of me. I raised my knees and spread them, and even though I was still tied at the ankles I was able to open wider to accept him. He pressed his hips in between my legs, spreading me wider, placing some strain on my ankles where they were tied but I didn't care. His cock slid up one thigh and its head stopped just short, barely tickling the folds of my pussy. He looked at me expectantly as if I might scream and push him off at any moment. Instead, I pushed my hips up toward him.

I was dripping wet, literally. His cock found my pussy by itself and slid in almost effortlessly. When it passed inside me I moaned, loudly; the sensation was more amazing than I had ever imagined. His cock was harder than I thought it would feel, not as hard as a dildo but still really hard. But it had a texture, the feeling of real, live flesh that made me realize a living man had just entered my body. He grunted and then moaned with the sensation as he dipped deeper inside. It pushed all the way inside until I could feel him pressing my cervix.

He pulled most of the way out and I almost came. He pushed in again, harder, and his body pressed against my clit when he was buried all the way inside. He was big, and I wasn't used to it, and it hurt just a bit but I wanted that hurt, I wanted to be taken by him, the pain just sharpened my sensations of pleasure. He pushed several times more and I grunted with him and moaned and panted and then came in a glorious orgasm that rose slowly, warmth covering my hips and breasts and extending outward until my entire body was engulfed in pleasure.

I tried to reach up to pull him down to me, to feel his body resting on my nakedness, but my wrists were still tied. He continued thrusting, over and over, and the sensation of his being inside, having a boy inside, taking me and using me and fucking me, made my orgasm continue in a sort of rolling wave of warmth and pleasure.

Finally, his entire body tensed and he jerked his hips as his climax took hold of him. I could feel his cock harden even more and then spasm as he jerked and ejaculated inside me. He gasped with a low, guttural noise.

And then it was over. He was laying on top of me, still inside, still hard, but no longer moving. I was laying on the wood floor, exhausted and floating. His cock slowly slipped out and I felt liquid dribble down from my vagina onto my ass, and then the floor. He rolled off of me, his breathing returning to normal.

I had splinters in my ass from the old wood floor. A warm wind blew in from outside threw the open door and window, reminding me we were somewhat exposed in this shack, even though no one was typically around.

"I think you better untie me so I can get dressed." I said to him, nudging him.

"Oh. Yes. I am sorry..." He sprung up, shoved his glistening wet cock into his pants and zipped up. He was still bulging as he untied my ankles and wrists. I sat up and flexed, getting blood circulating again.

"Do you have a handkerchief or something?" I said to him, looking at the pool of slimy liquid soaking into the wood floor beneath my ass.

"What?" His eyes followed mine. "OH! Yes, oh my god, I am so sorry. Yes... here..."

I wiped myself, cleaning up before pulling my panties and jeans back up. He sat on the other side of the small room watching me.

"That was amazing, Siobhan. I didn't realize... it was so good. So ... amazing... That was... my first time, you know.... " He was still staring at my naked boobs as I turned to pull on my top.

"Yeah. I know. It was my first time too. I guess we popped each other, huh? Let's hope I don't get pregnant from it. That would be like, really embarrassing."

Kevin turned pale with shock. "Oh. Oh. I totally forgot. Oh, Siobhan, you don't think that will happen do you? God, after all they repeat to you over and over at school, use a condom, use a condom, and here I forgot and it will be all my fault--"

I cut him off. "It's OK Kev. I didn't plan it and neither did you. We both wanted it. I guess it was just our first time. Don't worry. Don't get all freaked out. It isn't the right time of month for me, so it is unlikely."

He calmed a little, and we talked about it some more was we walked back. I could feel more slime make its way down onto my panties as we hiked. I was going to have to do a little laundry at home before my mom got a hold of it.

Kevin and I visited the shack a few more times after that, playing and experimenting and even doing it. He learned to bring a condom with him, and even to tie me up in more interesting ways. I learned a lot about a number of things, including giving a hand job and what it is like to be truly helpless. I didn't get pregnant, thank God, and I made sure I carried condoms from then on, having learned not to trust guys to think ahead.

It all came to a screeching halt one day when his parents caught the two of us kissing in back of my grandma's house. We were quietly separated and watched from then on, never allowed alone with each other unless adults were present.

It didn't matter. Kevin was great for a first time. I wasn't in love with him, and I wanted to move on to bigger and better experiences, which I did.

Monday, September 10, 2012


It is embarrassing to admit that will all my experiences, the various men and women I have been with and kinky activities I have submitted myself to, I had never been given any sort of a forced enema. Now, I have to admit that I did receive an enema during a medical procedure when I was about 14 but it was sterile, uninteresting and I was half out of it anyway.

So, when Jason decided that my punishment for making him stop on a recent road trip for an unscheduled (and inconvenient) bathroom break was to be an enema, I didn't know what to think or expect.

It wasn't fair, really. We were traveling across northern Arizona and I had been drinking my usual large diet coke. I misjudged the distance between towns. I held it as long as I could but I needed to go, badly. My bladder was actually beginning to hurt. Have you ever had that happen, when you need to go so badly that you are actually in pain? Well, it was happening.

Jason pulled over to the side of the freeway and told me to pee in the dirt. I was shocked and humiliated.

"Jason, I am sorry. Is there any way we can find a place to pull over a little better? Is there a gas station or something coming up, even if it isn't a town?"

"Siobhan, I am tired of your constant physical quirks and needs. You need to get control of your body, and if you won't do that I will. You need to pee, then pee. Now."

I looked around. There were cars whizzing by at 80mph, and this strip of road was barren. No shrubs or bushes, just the car to hide me. I was blushing bright red as I pulled my jeans down and crouched close to the car.

"Step away from the car, and take those pants off. I don't want my car or your pants to get splattered because you can't control yourself," Jason commanded in a tired but firm manner.

I obeyed, stepping a few feet from the car and then slipping off my pants. My face was bent down, I was trying to ignore my nakedness that would be visible to all the cars driving past, however fast they were going. I crouched again and tried to pee.

It wasn't easy. I had held it so long it was hard to let go, and the knowledge that random strangers would see me squatting and knew exactly what I was doing humiliated me and made it even harder.  Finally I got the stream going and felt incredible relief as the urine flowed out of my bladder. I wiped myself with a tissue, pulled my pants back on, and we climbed back into the car and drove on.


A few days later we were back home and back to work. It was a Wednesday, the middle of the work week and I was in the swing of our routine. I work as a director of IT at a large company. No one there knows of my ownership, though the collar I wear is clear for all to see. Most assume it is simply a piece of jewelry (they don't know it can't and isn't removed).

When I got home I removed my clothes, as is my current habit, and put on a simple leather harness that Jason has provided. I began preparing the evening meal, and cleaning up so the house would be nice for my owner when he came home from work.  We ate and enjoyed the evening together. Jason played with me with some clamps after dinner, which always makes me feel special and loved. I do enjoy it when he pays attention to me and makes me feel beautiful. He told me my discomfort makes me more beautiful and desirable to him.

He then informed me of his disappointment over the incident where I had to pee along side of the road. It had embarrassed him, as well as myself, and he had promised a punishment. He had decided on the punishment and was going to administer it tonight. This punishment would begin a new phase in my training as his slave and property -- and emphasis on training me to control my body functions.

My stomach felt like cold ice. He had something in mind and I knew it was going to be unpleasant.

Jason led me to the bedroom and told me to lay face down on the bed, with my legs and hips extended over the edge. This position made me nervous because I have been in it several times before when he has administered anal punishment and it gave me a hint as to what was coming. I obediently lay on the bed, my breasts and face pressing into the comforter.

My legs were spread and fastened into a spreader bar. My ankles were held about three feet apart. Not a huge amount, but enough to prevent me from closing access to the sensitive parts between my legs. He grabbed my left wrist and pulled it behind my back and I felt the cold metal of handcuffs snap in place. The cuffs were attached to my leather harness, so when my right wrist was also fasted in place, my hands were held high up my back, away from my ass.

I waited nervously.

Turning my head to the side I could see Jason take out a set of flesh colored rubber gloves, the kind they used in hospitals. My body was shaking a little in anticipation of the pain that was undoubtedly in store, and I thought I might lose control of my bladder and pee on the floor.

I turned my face into the blanket of the bed and started crying. Jason punishes me periodically for misbehavior, and I knew this session was not going to be fun. Rough hands covered with latex grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. A strip of duct tape covered my mouth and then my head was released. My face buried back into the bed and I continued crying.

Rubber fingers spread my ass cheeks. I automatically clenched, reacting to the intrusion.

"Relax, and this will be a lot easier. This won't hurt too badly if you cooperate," he said.

I tried to relax. His fingers reached in deeper and touched my anus. I contracted, and then tried hard to release.

After examining my ass he left me and went into the bathroom. I lay waiting, unable to move much and wondering what was coming. The noise of water running in the bathroom gave me my first hint, and I turned to observe Jason filling a remarkably large rubber bag. It must have held two gallons and he was filling it to the top.

Tears flowed afresh from my eyes and began to wet the bed beneath my fact. I knew what was coming as he returned from the bathroom and positioned himself between my spread legs. His rubber gloved hand spread my ass cheeks forcefully and one finger pushed hard against my anus, slipping in relatively easily.

His finger withdrew and I realized he had simply been inserting and spreading some lube into my opening. The next moment I felt something very hard like a plastic finger pressing against my anus, pushing hard and then breaking through. It slid easily inside with the lube he had applied. It was impossible to tell how far it slid but it felt like at least six inches. With a final shove, a large lump in the nozzle pushed into my rectum and my anus instinctively clenched shut behind it, keeping it inside.

It was useless to plead, but I tried anyway. The gag muffled my moans and cries but I tried. Jason caressed by bare ass, sliding his fingers over my hips and between my legs, feeling every fold, as I cried.

Between the leg spreader, my hands cuffed behind my back, and the tape gag, I was going nowhere and was pretty much helpless. I lay still and tried to breathe, still laying on the bed on my stomach with my ass and legs hanging over the edge.

Then I felt it. It was cool at first and then cold, spreading from my rectum and then up into my bowels. The plastic finger of the enema nozzle released cold water gushing into my insides. I moaned and then growled into my gag and struggled a bit. The water kept coming, creeping higher as it filled my lower intestines. At this point I was humiliated more than anything. Jason continued to touch and feel my body as the cold water flowed into me.

As the water flowed in the cold sensation was accompanied by a bloated feeling. This gave way to cramps. The cold water inspired my intestines to begin peristalsis, the natural contractions designed to repel and eject matter out the anus. Except, of course, the matter was coming in through my anus so the contractions just made it worse. I moaned in pain and tried to draw my knees up to make it a little easier.

After a couple of minutes Jason cut off the flow of water. "I think we will give you a rest before we continue the flow. Let your bowels have a chance to adapt."

I turned my head and saw Jason removing his pants. His cock was hard and I couldn't help become aroused at the site. Jason is quite a site; fit, healthy, and his cock is large enough to satisfy any woman. Seeing it hard and standing out made me want him, in spite of the full, bloated feeling.

The cramps subsided after a while, though the feeling of bloating did not. Jason returned to the enema bag and began the flow again.

Additional cramps hit me almost immediately. I yelped and writhed a little. I didn't think it was normal to have this much fluid in an enema; it was getting really painful. The cramps hit me throughout my entire abdomen and I moaned and cried as I writhed helpless against the handcuffs and leg spreader. Jason caressed my body, feeling my muscles contract and struggle, enjoying my pain.

Finally the enema bag was empty, though my bowels were full well beyond capacity. I wasn't crying any more but I was moaning against the tape gag and trying to draw my knees up to my stomach to relieve the cramping. It felt horrible.

"Now, my love, I will be removing the nozzle. When I do, I don't want any accidents. Nothing. Not a drop. If there is, we will have to continue this mode of training in much more detail, and with more severe consequences." Jason caressed my face, and I looked up and nodded to show him I understood.

Slowly, he pulled the enema nozzle out. It was impossible not to let some of the water out, and I clenched my sphincter as tight as I could against the plastic finger as it slid out. With a final sensation very similar to releasing some shit into a toilet, the nozzle slid all the way out and I closed my ass muscles as hard as I could.

I can not tell you how hard it was to keep all the water inside. My body was screaming at me to expel the foreign substance, the muscles of my intestines were contracting and pressing to move it down and out, and yet I was holding my ass shut as tight as I could. It was horrible, painful, agonizing. I started breathing in short pants, coping with the pain and natural urges. My legs drew up even though my ankles were held apart by the spreader. I whimpered.

Jason took hold of my shoulders and pulled me across the bed until my head was near the edge. I think it would have been easier to hold the water in if I had not been laying on my stomach. In this position, it was more painful and difficult to retain the liquid. It took every bit of my concentration and effort.

The tape gag was removed from my mouth. I gasped for air, breathing even harder. I knew better than to beg for mercy, that made Jason angrier and would result in more punishment. I panted, breathing through my mouth now, keeping the water inside my distended belly.

As I lay with my head hanging just over the edge of the bed, Jason presented his cock before my face. In the back of my mind I knew what I had to do but the pain of retaining the enema was occupying my mind completely. Jason brought my attention back to him by slapping my face.

"Suck it." His command was calm, simple, and to be obeyed.

I did. I took his large cock in my mouth and sucked it in as deep as I could. My tongue spread and pressed and played with the underside of his member. He withdrew it most of the way and my lips slid and stimulated the head, and he plunged deep in again. In this way, he began fucking my mouth.

I honestly believe I could have held the enema if it hadn't been for the distraction of his cock choking me from the other end. He pushed in and out, penetrating my face, using me to stimulate his member until with a grunting moan he pulled just out of my mouth and spurted semen all over my face. It went onto my hair, into my eyes, and up my nose. My eyes stung and I coughed slightly.

That's when it happened.

It wasn't a lot, but enough to soil my ass and dribble down across my pussy and puddle on the comforter. Jason checked it, and confirmed what had happened.

"I am sorry, Siobhan, but it appears you can't control yourself. We will have to schedule some punishment and more training for body function control."

He left the room. I remained on the bed, his semen drying on my face, my hips laying in a pool of my own diarrhea. I hung my head in humiliation, still concentrating on keeping the enema inside and not making my failure worse. Tears trickled slowly down my cheeks.

When Jason came back he was dressed again, and he unlocked the handcuffs and removed the leg spreader. I lay on the bed, afraid that any movement would make me lose control again. The pain was making me shudder and convulse as it had spread across my entire abdomen and stomach. I was nauseous, afraid I would vomit.

"Go relieve yourself, and then clean up."

I carefully slid across the bed and then into the bath room. walking in tiny steps as if I was an old, old woman. Each step renewed the pain. I could see how my stomach was distended from all the water inside. Sitting on the toilet, I let loose to an explosion, a steady stream that seemed to go on and on. When it finally slowed and stopped, I sat there still, knowing that some of the water had made its way high up inside me and would be appearing at any moment. And it did; after about a minute, there was another stream of water with chunks of feces that shot out. The relief was huge.

Fifteen minutes later, I had showered quickly and was changing the bedspread and sheets. The room smelled of my body and I continually flushed in embarrassment.

Late that evening, I was feeling better and the room was clean and fresh. I lay next to Jason and he held me in his arms, protecting and caring for me. I had stopped crying and was wrapped around him lovingly. He let me know that we would be revisiting the practice of controlling my body functions in various ways. It was all right. It was my purpose to serve him and suffer for him.

And, for now, it was over and I was in his arms.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Discovering Play

I had discovered self bondage almost by accident, but it had such a powerful impact on me that I had played with it more and more, learning how to tie basic knots, how to gag myself, and so on.  The problem was that to be truly bound and helpless, you had to have a way to get out that wasn't under your control. I wasn't experienced in timed release mechanisms and the like, and being a young teen living at home with parents, most methods were not available to me due to cost, complications, or unreliability. Self bondage was therefore an adventure that I continued, but also a continuing frustration.

My first relief came during a sleepover with a few other girlfriends; my friend Teresa had invited myself and two others over while her parents were out of town. She had permission, and her parents figured it would be OK; she was a babysitter after all and was used to being on her own.  I brought a bottle of vodka and Janine brought some rum, and we were set.

After a couple of hours of drinking, I was about ready for anything. We had been swapping sex stories about various guys we had dated, and it was easy to bring the conversation around to the topic of bondage. I just mentioned that my boyfriend had wanted to tie me up.

"Yeah, he was wanting to tie my wrists behind my back. God, I don't believe how kinky he is..." I giggled a little.

"God, he is! You wouldn't let him do that, would you?" Coleen, the sporty girl in the group asked with big eyes.

"I don't know. It probably doesn't matter, because I am sure I could get out of anything he tried to tie me in."

Teresa wasn't buying it. "You are way too confident. I bet he could tie you up and rape you and there would be nothing you could do about it. Don't let him."

"I don't believe it. No way," I shook my head. "I could get out of any tie he tried. I am sure of it."

"Well, since you are so confident, why don't you let us tie you up and see if you can get out of it? Hmmm?" Cindy was the snide one of the bunch. I believed she actually wanted to tie me up.

"OK. Let's do it. I challenge you to tie me up so I can't get out. I let you tie me, and then I have up to half an hour to get out."

"HA! You are on!" Cindy was eager. "But what do we get if you can't get out? Hmmm?"

Teresa had an idea. She ran off, and then came back with something. She brandished it and announced proudly, "Here is your punishment. If you can't get out, we get to do you with this!"

It was a dildo. It had to be her parents. I couldn't believe it. I had seen pictures, but had never seen one "live" before. It was way bigger than I thought it would be. I had fucked my boyfriend Kevin by then and was no virgin, but this was something new.

"What? What are you going to do with that?"

"Fuck you, of course. You can't get untied, we get to use this on you!" Teresa was positively drooling with the idea, Cindy was as well. Coleen didn't look so sure.

"Wait, guys... that's your parent's. They are going to know you used it, and besides, its not ... sanitary.. ugh..."

Cindy pulled something out of her purse. It was a condom. "See? Perfectly hygienic. Lubed, too. I know because I used one last Saturday with Sean."

Little did these girls know that this was beyond my wildest dreams.

They made me take my PJs and panties off because they said that when I failed to get out of the ropes they would need me naked for the consequence -- the dildo. I pouted and complained but finally removed everything. I stood before them naked.

"Lay down on the bed. Face down." Cindy was taking the lead. I did as I was told, laying on my stomach on the middle of her bed. Coleen grabbed one of my wrists and pulled it behind my back. Cindy grabbed the other and crossed them together. I felt the rope going around my wrists and knew it was a mistake. Looping rope around like that would be easy to get out of.

But then, after two loops, Cindy shifted and looped the rope across my wrists in the other direction. I could feel the tie tightening against my wrists. It was at that point I began to consider I might have a tough time getting out of the ropes, and the thought immediately had me aroused. I was getting wet. I hoped it wasn't obvious.

My head was forced into the pillow and my hands were secured behind my back. I thought they would stop there, but they didn't.

"There is extra rope," Coleen was saying. I could feel Cindy taking it and pulling my wrapped wrists tight. I grunted a bit and wriggled.

"We aren't done yet. No wiggling." Cindy straddled my back, holding me down. Feeling her pussy against my bare back turned me on even more. Coleen and Teresa grabbed my ankles and bent my legs back toward my wrists.

"Hey..." I said, muffled into the pillow.

"Quiet, Siobhan, we never said what we would tie. This is part of the deal." The rope was going around my ankles in the same criss cross pattern. Cindy was pulling it tight. I felt her breasts brushing my bare ass cheeks and felt my arousal spike from the sensation. God, I was hot. My wrists really were tied tightly, and my ankles were well on their way.

Finally the rope was tight around my ankles and I was in a loose hogtie.

"Tuck the extra rope... what do we do with it? She will get loose if you leave it out like that?" Teresa was observing and commenting.

"Here," Coleen said, taking the remaining rope. Apparently there was a lot of it. She pulled my ankles up in back, forcing my back into a slightly curved position. She then threaded the rope under my body at the waist, back to my wrists, wrapped around a few more times my wrists and my waist. When she was done, my legs were pulled back tightly, my wrists were held up at the small of my back, unable to move, and the whole thing was secured with the rope going around my waist.

I was tied up, and good. I began to wonder if Cindy had experience at this.

"OK, Siobhan. Half an hour." Teresa was giggling.

On the one hand, there I was, naked and struggling on my friend Teresa's bed, tied tighter than I had ever been able to tie myself. I wriggled and writhed, uncomfortable from the angles of my legs, back and arms. It was humiliating and somewhat painful.

On the other hand I was so aroused I thought I was going to orgasm right then.

Struggling on the bed, I rolled over to my side. My body was tied back in the reversed "O" of a good hogtie, and it thrust my breasts and stomach out. The other girls were watching me, enjoying every minute of my struggle. I, on the other hand, was finally feeling the helplessness of being totally under another's control; I was tied up and discovering there was no way out. I could see my tormentors and it turned me on. Right at that moment, there was only one thing that would have made me more excited and happier.

Unfortunately, I was going to have to wait another 25 minutes for that.

I lay on the bed, straining and writhing, as Coleen went out and got some chips from the kitchen. The three girls sat and munched, drinking the rum as I struggled and writhed. My legs split open, showing off my pussy for them all to see.

"You know something, I think this might be the hottest thing I have ever seen." Teresa was staring at me. I could tell she was aroused.

"You know what she needs?" Cindy got up and picked up something from the floor. The other girls looked at it with a curious look. It was the panties I had removed just a half hour before. Cindy moved over to me and as I opened my mouth to ask what she was doing she shoved the panties into my mouth. My eyes got big and I squealed a muffled noise of surprise.

"Oh, that's just perfect. Oh, yes. Wait, that needs something!" Teresa ran off and returned with duct tape.

"Mppphpmpppphhhh!!!!!!" I cried. The tape made a tearing sound as she pulled it off the roll and spread it halfway around my face.  "MPPSHJHHHHPPPJHHHHHH!!!"

"She is soooo getting off on this!" Teresa was saying to Cindy. Coleen had moved into position to begin my dildo fucking. I had 10 minutes before that began, but it appeared she was eager.

Colleen reach between my legs and carefully touched my pussy. She pulled her fingers back and proclaimed with some disbelief, "Hey... guys... she is like. Wet. Really, wet."

I was, too. Colleen's touch had almost made me cum, right then. I had never had sex with a girl before, but I was ready. I wanted any of the girls to touch me, control me, take me while I was bound and helpless.

"OMG... she is! Come here, Teresa, feel this!" Cindy had touched me as well. I writhed helplessly on the bed, making muffled mewling noises.

Teresa touched me. No, she didn't just touch me, she felt me up. Slid her fingers across and down my slit. I writhed and pressed against her. My nipples were hard. I wanted them to do me, then, right then.

But they didn't. They held back, intent on reaching the thirty minute mark. The frustration was incredible. My ankles and wrists throbbed. My back was cramping. I kept flushing with embarrassment from the way I exposed myself as I wriggled. I collapsed back and lay quiet for a while until the cramps set in and then wriggled again to try and find a better position.

My first warning that I had reached the end of the 30 minutes was the feeling of something hard pressing against my pussy lips. I raised my head with a jerk and saw Teresa between my splayed legs with a determined smile. As she pushed harder, slipping the naturally soft dildo deep inside me, I moaned and rolled over, spreading my legs wide and pushing back.

She raped me slow, to begin with. A steady slow rhythm, slow in and then a little quicker out. Slow in again, a little deeper, then faster out. Slowly the rhythm gained momentum. I shuddered and came, an orgasm that made me forget where and who I was.

It continued. Teresa didn't stop. Whether she didn't know I had orgasmed or didn't care, she kept going, increasing the rhythm, moving the dildo from side to side, alternately pressing against my clit and my anus. My hips continued thrusting back against it and my muscles strained against my bonds.

I didn't want to get free. I wanted the restraints. They brought me to orgasm so much faster. Colleen was in front of me kissing my face, brushing the hair away gently. I was sweating profusely, and the rhythm of the fucking was getting faster. My hips were struggling along with it and I was moaning behind the panty gag as best I could. Colleen had my breasts then, hands around then, pinching the nipples. The dildo plunged in so deep I could feel it pressing my cervix up and yet I thrust against it, asking for more.

I came again. This time loudly, or as loud as the gag would let me. I panted and cried out, muscles shaking and straining as I bucked against the unnatural thing penetrating me deeply.

And then it was over. They were untying me. The gag came off and I gasped, panting for air. The ropes holding my wrists were unwound, and my legs released.

Cramping hit me even worse. I had to ease my limbs out ever so slowly, straightening out one inch at a time.

Cindy was grinning the whole time. "Gosh, Siobhan. You sorta enjoyed that. A lot. If I didn't know better I would say you are one kinky bitch."

Colleen held my head, watching to make sure I was OK.

"One kinky lesbian bitch," Teresa said. "You made that look like I wanted to join in. Like... I have never really wanted to touch a girl before, but babe... you make me want you."

I grinned at Teresa at that moment, and then reached up to Colleen and kissed her full on the lips.

"Just promise me we can do this again, sometime," I said.

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Collar

When we were married and I became the committed, owned slave of my master and husband Jason, I received a ring on my finger representing my commitment as a wife. In addition, I received a collar, a neck ring if you will. This collar represents my becoming an owned thing, giving up all my self will in favor of obedience to my master.

The collar can not be removed without a special tool which Jason keeps safely hidden in a location I am unaware of. He can remove it, but I can not. It is loose enough to fit comfortably around my neck but just tight enough it would never go over my head. It is a beautiful steel, shiny and decorative. It can be cut through but not without a metal saw, which would be difficult and rather dangerous that close to my skin.

My collar is a part of me now. A constant reminder of who I am and my position in life. The fact that only one man can remove it is both symbolic and very real; I am tied to Jason both psychologically and physically.

I keep the collar beautiful, shining and oiling it as needed. It is always kept clean. I usually wear a decorative pendant, containing a jewel of some sort. My favorite is a sapphire piece that Jason gave me for my birthday.

Very few people ask about my collar. Those who don't know assume it is simply my favorite piece of jewelry. Those who do know... well... they know. A couple of times someone has asked if it was indeed a slave collar; I have always been proud to answer that it is, that I am owned property.